So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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