Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
