Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He kissed a someone with a penis
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
