i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
