Only a mothe r could love this liver
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We left the knife in your bed.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
