I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
