I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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