Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
