That reminds me...we need to get swords
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
