i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
wow bdsm is so cute
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
