Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
