Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I bet he comes in French.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
