I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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