he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
