I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
