I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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