How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
