i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
