dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
