i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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