He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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