is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
