i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
When are your genitals available?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
