That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I have fence marks all over my body
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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