Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize