You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
