great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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