morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize