those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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