that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
