Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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