DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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