I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
