the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
50% drunk capacity currently
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
