i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
