I just cut my nipple shaving
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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