dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
