No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize