We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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