just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
