Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
