Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
