I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
