just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
