somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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