Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
