I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
