Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
