I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
