I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
