There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
