i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
