He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm just crazy horny about you
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
