cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
