I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
