they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
