i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
