You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
3 2 1 whiskey
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
