I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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