And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize