the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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