She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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