so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
