If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
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