Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
