Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
